I’ve got to be honest (or do I?)

Time and time again the issues of having honest conversations comes up in our coaching sessions. Why is it that we find having honest conversations so hard? What are we afraid of? Is it the fact we may not be liked, or we might come across as argumentative or opinionated? Or is it the fact we find it difficult to find the inner strength and confidence to approach the individual and say the words we have said so often in our head?

No matter the reason for avoidance, honest conversations really are unavoidable.

So, what can you do to make things easier for yourself?

Think about your reason for having the conversation in the first place.

What is your intention? If you have a positive intention then having the honest conversation is probably for the best. If it is with a negative intention then, think again!

Checking out assumptions

Is there a conversation to be had? Is the evidence there or have you jumped to conclusions, made up your own version of the truth? Ask yourself… why would a perfectly reasonable person behave in this way?

Where are you having the conversation

Is the venue appropriate, it Is quiet and private? Is there a route out of the venue that doesn’t mean having to walk past the colleagues? Its these relatively simply things that can be missed or used as an excuse not to have the conversation.

We advocate going for a walk, somehow it feels easier, conversations can flow more as the boundaries of the office are removed.

Planning the conversation

Structure what you are going to say, think about the key messages you want to give. Practice saying it out loud, you don’t need to script it however there is nothing wrong with having a few bullet points to help you along. After all, this conversation is important to both parties so you need to get in right.

Be brave

Having the conversation may mean you need to let go of ‘being liked’ for a bit but if having the conversation is going to improve the situation/performance/relationship then it is highly likely that further down the line the individual with thank you for it.

Remember the good stuff

Remember honest conversations can be positive too. Catch people doing stuff right and have that honest conversation. Operate in this way and you will foster a culture of openness and honesty.
So what conversations have you been putting off? Make a commitment to yourself to act, come on, you’ve got to be honest.

If you would like to know more about support in this area why not contact us or check out our coaching page